Mom Moments of Truth

Have you ever had this thought? Why can't I just enjoy this moment right here? Why can't I just allow myself to be enveloped by the feelings, sights, sounds, people, etc. that surround me? Why is it so difficult to just shut out the rest of the world and to just shut my mind off? Why have we become so consumed with keeping our eye elsewhere? Why is it our first thought of what else is going on, what is everyone else doing....etc? I have a theory.....somewhere along the way, we stopped thinking for ourselves as a society. Somehow, we allowed our employers, friends, parents, siblings, neighbors, teachers, co-workers and all of their thoughts and feelings become more important than our own. But, why? And how? When did we become less important than these previously listed? Why is it the last thing that we should is think of ourselves? When I am with my kids, I'm thinking about what I didn't get done at work. When I'm at work, I'm thinking of how my k...

Tonight, I came home and was bogged down with the fact that the kids have pretty much had nothing but meltdowns all day long. My oldest tells me that even though they are putting on brave faces, that everyone misses me. From the dogs, to the kids and even my fiance. I try so hard to get home within a reasonable amount of time, but every day it feels like I fail a little bit more. Last week, I clocked over 47 hours for five days worth of work. Every single day, I keep trying to get off the clock within 8 hours.....but, it doesn't happen. And every time that I clock out beyond that 8 hours, I find another scratch into the wall of how I am failing as a mother and fiance. Every day, I can't help but let my mind run to the Alicia Keys song, "Superwoman" in which the lyrics say, "For all the mothers fighting for better days to come. And all my women, all my women sitting here trying to come home before the sun......I am Superwoman. Yes I am. Even when I'm...

So, here's the thing. I've been giving this a lot of thought and I've spent a lot of time feeling extremely guilty about it all. Then I realized.....it's okay! You see, I have been anxiously awaiting the day that my children are BACK in school because there's just simply too much fighting for my sanity to stay in tact when they are home. Usually, this is the part where someone tells me that they fight because they are bored or something like that. No. No.....you see, my children seem to fight because they find some sort of fun in it. So, I was sitting there, after an eleven hour day at work (and I'm not even employed as something awesome, such as a nurse), just looking at Facebook, trying to wind down for the day. I see all of these great posts from the most amazing women and moms that I know. They highlight how sad they are that their children are no longer home with them, and that the school year has begun. They have their stinking cute little ...